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Yeah You Changed


You may start noticing some changes within The Solo Alliance.  That is because we have to go big or go home. I mean spreading our wings here and breaking down content that will satisfy our readers. So you will start to see some content be transferred over to www.kaythesoloalliance.com. The Solo Alliance will still be here, but this will be all beauty and fashion baby (including the DIYs that I do that relate to glam, decor and beauty). 

Hey, but I didn't forget about our single status because guess what, I am still single baby!  I am creating that independence and happiness all while being single. So you can catch up with our journal entries, life responses, business, love and all around lifestyle on www.kaythesoloalliance.com. 

So I am preparing for a journey, let's ride Solo Alliance!

I Need A Girls Trip - Movie Review


I needed some "me" time and decided to go see Girls Trip, starring Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Regina Hall, and Tiffany Haddish. I must say this movie was really conventionally good. It was very entertaining and as many have said, Tiffany had her breakout role.  I will note that the roles Queen Latifah and Regina Hall played are going to make you feel as if you have seen them in that role before; because you have.  As previously stated, Tiffany did have a breakout role in the movie, but I can't really see much depth put into her role. It was her usual funny self, very outspoken and a joke for days (some probably would compare her to the "Angela" of the Why Did I Get Married Movies). I must remember that Lisa Raye did her breakout role as a stripper, so while I fear Tiffany's type of role will be a request for her, I won't count her out yet for variety.  I did experience, with this movie, similar vibes from previous movies like The Woods, The Brothers, With this Ring, but tons of more laughter. I laughed throughout most of the movie.  The relationship between "Dina" and "Lisa" seemed the most authentic, as it worked the best. However, I appreciate the Set It Off reference in the movie and how each character needed the support from their cast members.

Now, you know we try not to ruin the experience of the movie for others, but there are some things in the movie that definitely resonated with us at The Solo Alliance.  (*pops lips) Let's Chat!




  •  The placating ways of "Stewart" did not sit well, didn't care for it at all.
  • I appreciated all of the support the girls had for each other even when all their chips were down, but when they let each other have it, it was all out there and I did feel like they kind of ganged up on Sasha.
  •  Why is there always one person in these movies with the same type of money problem (Think Like a Man, The Best Man Holiday)?
  • There were events left with too many questions (the plastic greeting at the beginning of the trip with Sasha and Ryan, did they all still reside in the same state, the relationship between Ryan and Julian previously, I need answers!)
  • There was a point where money was definitely a driving force, but it wasn't ever addressed perse (Ryan continued to accept issues whenever money was mentioned, her relationship with Sasha because of her running after money)
  • Why did everybody have a last name but Dina (random I know)



I would love to discuss some of the events that happened, so at this point, I will say possible spoiler alert.




"Single women are the in thing."  While we at The Solo Alliance speak about living a fulfilled life from a single woman point of view, the movie didn't center around single women. It centered around women having fun with their friends.  You got some great music, great drinks and eventually a great room, which is a recipe for a great time.



"Women dishing tips and tricks." We love a good party and women schmoozing. I will say the schmoozing done at the breakfast table, I was not quite ready.  However, women talk is where you can learn some great or terrible tips, but it doesn't hurt to try and see what works for you.


"Your friends' jokes on your celibacy."  Yep.  There are some laughs and jokes that we here at The Solo Alliance have had to endure due to being celibate.  Not saying give your goodies at the first offer, but I must agree that grown women can do grown women things unless you have other intentions for your celibacy. Which by all means, keep that up. However, if you have a set of friends that are in a no-judgement zone then use the above schmoozing session to pop off your grownup activities.




The cast made for a great movie. I would highly recommend going to see the flick with or without friends. Have you already seen Girls Trip? If not, check out the trailer in the link below.
No copyright infringement intended. I do not own these photos.

 Sound off your some of your favorite parts of movie, thoughts on the movie and all things Girls Trip in the comments below.

*corrections have been made to change to Regina Hall



Loyalty



Loyal defined is having or showing complete and constant support for someone or something; therefore loyalty is the state of being loyal. Most people will use the term for their benefit, but when is it being use to benefit someone or something else? Most people will speak of the loyalty they expect but are not sure how much they want or how much they are willing to do in order to return loyalty.

I am a very loyal person, but when does it turn from loyalty to insanity.  Insanity- doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. You know the ones that can depend on you but you can never depend on them. My friend always says, "you can't be everything to everybody."  True statement. It is when you are trying to be everything to everybody that you crash, and when you aren't available, this becomes an issue right?  This is because this isn't your nature with which people are accustomed. When do you find that balance where you are just like "forget it", I only have this amount of cares to give, and I have to chose wisely which I am going to give them. I mean, I can't get those cares back so I need to spend them wisely right.

Let's talk single women loyalty because that is the life we live on this blog. I get that I may not have as many responsibilities as a family of four, but I do have responsibilities. I say this not only for friends, but potentials also.  Check it, so I meet a guy and we established at the beginning that I am grown woman dating. So, if you find me interesting and would like to converse, that is fine, but why expect me to not to do something, you are currently doing.  I know you are dating homeboy, I know your options are still open, but you want my options to come to a halt. Red flag (Ladies, we will talk about those red flags)! I mean obviously you aren't doing enough to expect that kind of loyalty. I just thought it was so random the things that he expected. We are getting to know each other, I get that, but why in the world do you think that you are able to do things that you do not expect of your mate. Examples you ask, sure why not. Let's put a very common topic that is quoted out there

Convo 1
Him: Have you ever dated outside of your race?
Me:  I don't date ethnicities, races, or colors, I date men
Him: Well, you need to stick by your own
Me: Really, you have a biracial child

Convo 2:
Him: You know I work late so you should be willing to change your dating habits to work around my schedule
Me: You know I work long shifts, so you should expect for me to go out of my way during the late hours
Him: Well I am just trying to spend time with you
Me: People make time for what they want to do, what's your days off?
(I know it seems like a feasible convo right now, its not. It gets worse)
Him: Well its random, I made plans on this day (blah, blah, blah) and why don't you just come over and cook for me on a Sunday, so we can chill
Me: You know I work a 10 hour shift on Sundays right? So no to coming to cook for you and no to me "chilling" on a Sunday
Him: You can come over after work

Convo 3 (came from a stint where I wasn't giving in to some stupid request, probably going to his house or something of that nature)
Him: Yo, I am not like the other dudes you may have dated, I am a grown man.
Me: Then why are you expecting me to be like the other females you have dated that allowed you to "play house" with them..

Like, I can go on with this, but why?  We are supposed to be dating, find time or move on. You are requesting loyalty when it isn't earned. We aren't in a relationship. Please use some discernment in this situation sir.  I can't really speak for the next lady, but I will ask, how many single dating women are expected to be loyal because someone else thinks that you have the time to do it?

Maybe, we have someone out there with a different perspective. Sound off below in the comments.

Brunch with Tiffany Webisodes


Episode Four with Sky from Black Ink Crew

Oh gosh, where do I start? So two "unfiltered" people sat down to brunch and there was much "girl talk." Sky and Tiffany talked about their advocacy for plastic surgery, what procedures they had done and their lives in reality TV. There were no bars with this duo and many comments stated that they would watch a Sky and New York show. These two women are very known for their boisterous personalities on TV and one could see how they would definitely be friends, but my thoughts would be who would be the first to get out of pocket. They are two ladies who don't allow too much to be said before they "pop off." I have been keeping up with the Brunch with Tiffany series, and I must say as I watch the episodes of Brunch with Tiffany, she does very well at commentary. While she may ask "intrusive questions", she is also willing to allow access into her privacy as well as allowing the viewer to get a taste of the personalities of her brunch buddies. Many of her brunch buddies personalities are well known, but I can appreciate giving a good show for a web series. After watching all four episodes available, I still reccommend checking out Brunch with Tiffany for some short entertainment.  

Have you already watched any of the webisodes for "Brunch with Tiffany"?  If so, lets chat below, if not, catch an episode on VH1's, Brunch With Tiffany and join the chat.

Brunch With Tiffany Webisodes



Currently VH1 is broadcasting Tiffany "Miss New York" Pollard having brunch with pals, named "Brunch With Tiffany" No copyright infringement intended. There are currently two short episodes and there will be one episode added each month. 

Tiffany Pollard is visiting different restaurants in New York for brunch while conversing with some of her influential pals. According to VH1, "You already know and love Tiffany Pollard from her days as "New York" on VH1's Flavor of Love and I Love New York. Now, get ready to spend more time with her and her famous friends over brunch and cocktails on Brunch With Tiffany. Every month, Tiffany will be gathering gossip at iconic New York City restaurants, and no topic is off limits. You won't want to miss this". 

I have watched both episodes and I am not going to give a full on summary of the show because I really think for the purposes of discussion and because it is actually entertaining, you should watch it. But I will start off our discussion. 

Talk about interesting women convos at brunch. Do you think there is ever too much information revealed between women? I hope you answered no to the aforementioned question, because these webisodes will give you an earful from Tiffany and her pals. While Sheryl Lee Ralph is more demur, Sandy Morgan definitely gives us some hot tea about herself. I like that Tiffany is keeping her personality while meeting with different personalities. I will say the series is very relatable as Tiffany speaks with her pals about things that myself and my friends also chat about at a dining table. I did chuckle and at times full out hollered during the episodes as Tiffany will always give you an over-the-top performance. I must say that it feels odd to keep typing Tiffany instead of how we were all mostly introduced to her- Miss New York, but I digress. She definitely doesn't hold her tongue on the webisodes as she speaks with her gal pals, from vaginal rejuvenation to flying high as a kite. I must say that I can totally see myself sitting at brunch with Tiffany. She brings out personal information from her pals that is quite refreshing because it is absolutely hilarious. There aren't many cons about the webisodes other than, I would appreciate longer episodes as I can only imagine what else is said at their brunch. Overall, it appears to be a good series sure to give laughter and make you wonder just where in the world is Tiffany's filter button. 

Have you already watched any of the webisodes for "Brunch with Tiffany"?  If so, lets chat below, if not, catch an episode on VH1's, Brunch With Tiffany and join the chat. 


Birthday Achievement



Welcome birthday, March 14th! So, did you come back for the update or are you new to my site? Well lets chat. I am about to do something extremely scary. Scary because I know that walls are being lowered, and that I am growing and hopefully evolving. As you read this, you may be thinking, what has her so hesitant? I have been writing and sharing on this blog to break down barriers. While saying that I am trying to break down these barriers, I have also been blogging anonymously.  Tell me how does that work? It hasn't worked too well for me because I realized that this continued to allow me to create and enforce a barrier within an outlet (well what I created as an outlet).  Therefore; let's revamp, regroup, get my life. While I will keep many of the original posts as a reminder of how far I come, I want to introduce you to Kay.  As you browse through the posts, you will notice some updates if you have been reading this blog for a while. If you are new, I am ecstatic that you have visited and hope that you will return.  I will say that The Solo Alliance is a family regardless of what the name implies. As you read through the blog, you may realize why I have named my blog "The Solo Alliance." My mom always said when we invite people in our home, they should always feel welcomed. So please feel free to browse through the site as I have done something that I thought was impossible. I didn't think I was ready, and can't honestly say completely why I think I am ready now, but I am going to give it a shot.




I am probably still speaking in riddles and I know this may not make much sense, but it will make more since as you continue to read or maybe it may not, I am a work in progress. I want to personalize my opinions and brand my facts. I think this may be part of the reason that I want to personalize my blog, but I know there is much more. The negativity that can come with bringing your opinions to the world can become overwhelming but that is why they are opinions. My opinions that you may agree or disagree with, but I would hope that it would be in debate and not maliciously. I have also realized that this is my blog and not only do I control what I post, I can control what I wish to see and read. 

So.. I am now personalizing my site where you can put a face with the words. Hopefully you will introduce yourself to me, so we can become more acquainted.  Again thank you for visiting The Solo Alliance.  Stay tuned!!!

Fun Girl





-Urban Dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Fungirl

A conversation with my friend goes like this.

Me: I am not understanding why he doesn't think I don't know there is something odd going on here
Friend: Do you think he has someone else
Me: Yes, I have been here before, I mean, he goes super hard to make sure I notice him and then it gets weird, like texts during certain times of the day and the disappearing acts. I am just trying to understand, why I keep getting guys that already have a woman at home, but then they are trying to talk to me.
Friend: Because you are a "fun girl."  Not that I think that is the case, but men see single, independent, educated, attractive and no children and the a**holes gravitate towards wanting that fun life.

While I am not spotted showing my body parts, she classified me as a fun girl. She explained that she has another classification for "fun girls". There are the fun girls that aren't really looking for sponsors or attention.  They are the single ladies that "appear" to have things together, do what they want and come and go as they please.  Unavailable men may attract to these women because they feel there is a part of life they are missing or they aren't going to be expecting much from the relationship.  However, are you really missing out or you are trying to have it all plus some? These unavailable men find out that it is not that these "fun girls" aren't expecting much, but they have the ability to get what they need independently.

 I just had to know more, so I continued our conversation.
"Are you saying that I am attractive to guys whom only want to have a fun time, and what am I doing that is attracting these types of men?" As she explained, it is not that you are only attractive to these type of men, but I know you and you tend to be very upfront about expectations. You appreciate communication and you can see many sides.  So you will give these men the opportunity to give you the "spill" on wanting to just have a friend or "friend with benefits" and then you weigh the pros and cons.

I didn't think she was saying I was easy or too independent, but I came up with my own understanding.  Check it...  So I expect you to give it to me straight, no chaser. If you are looking to date me, then you are going to be expected to date me, if you are looking for a friends with benefits type of situation, then I will choose whether you will be able to get that option.  The only thing with that option is that I have officially put myself into the "fun girl" category with you.  I say that I am laid-back and that I will be when you are honest with me.  I am at a point where I am not looking for the games and the subterfuge of trying to figure out the relationship ins- and- outs.  This may come across as hypocritical, but it is not. A girl has the right to change her mind, right?! Currently, I am dating and living a happily single life. Fortunately, society has allowed this to happen in our 30s, although my family is still seeing this as taboo in my 30s.

My question then becomes, with me wanting to date as a single women, am I putting myself out there to be classified as the "fun girl?" I mean I am not quite looking for a relationship, but I am not looking to date someone else's man either.  Sound off in the comments below and let me know how you feel about the "fun girl", or how you classify the "fun girl?" Lets chat about if you have ever been considered the "fun girl", or if you have some advice (good or bad) about the fun girl.  Let's keep it cute though, we can always agree to disagree, respectfully.  Thanks for visiting The Solo Alliance. **Smooches**