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Guest Post- Do you fear rejection or just lack of sex?



Submitted by Stefan

Trying to provide a quick answer to this question is like trying to solve a famous casualty dilemma about which came first: the chicken or the egg... Well, it’s not exactly like that, but we like to think of ourselves as the great sages of our time. False modesty has never been our thing.

Guest Post- Looking for a Man or a Daddy?


Submitted by Stefan

Is "Looking For A Real Man" Just An Excuse For "Looking For A Daddy"?


We live in a world where young single people simply can't connect with their coevals on a deeper emotional level. So, they tend to look for a more experienced partner. An average young man usually decides to date a cougar and young women often fall in love with older men. This seems completely normal, but the question has to be asked - is there a deeper issue behind this dating trend? In order to answer this question, we're going to focus on the ladies and their tendency to chase older gentlemen. Most of them justify this phenomenon by saying they're "just looking for a real man", but is this really true? Could it be that they're looking for a "daddy" or some sort of a strong father figure? Here are some giveaway signs that a young woman has "daddy issues".  

She's Dating An Older Man Simply Because She Needs Guidance 

One of the biggest signs that a young girl is looking for a daddy is the fact that she seeks guidance and leadership in life. It's perfectly understandable for a young lady to be inexperienced and unsure about the future, but dating a much older man isn't the answer. Sadly, this is one of the most frequent reasons why today's women are trying to hook up with mature men. 

She Can't Trust Anyone Her Age

When a girl doesn't have a father figure in her life, it's almost impossible for a young man to gain her trust. Whenever a guy tries to bond with her, she automatically assumes that his motives and aspirations are impure. Naturally, she builds a wall around herself and the only one who can breach it is a strong and independent older man. The absence of a male figure in her life is forcing her to develop a defense mechanism and this is exactly why she's only interested in dating a "real" man. 

She's Afraid Of Being Alone 

This is, without a shadow of a doubt, the most common reason why young gals are constantly searching for more experienced gentlemen. They are desperately trying to fill that painful gap in their lives by dating men who are twice their age. Also, a lot of these girls have been hurt by younger men and they're afraid of ending up alone, so naturally, they're trying to settle down with a mature and more reliable man. This only proves that this dating trend is riddled with various doubts, fears, and questionable motives.

She's Looking For Someone Who Can Protect Her 

A young woman can be rather fragile, especially if she doesn't have a father in her life. Unfortunately, this means that she is usually an easy target for modern day predators, and since her dad isn't there to make her feel safe, she tends to seek protection from other older men. Ladies are trying to justify these relationships by saying that they're in love with those older gentlemen, but most of the time, that's simply not true. They are only trying to find someone who can protect them from harm.


Reach out or follow Stefan:

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Yeah You Changed


You may start noticing some changes within The Solo Alliance.  That is because we have to go big or go home. I mean spreading our wings here and breaking down content that will satisfy our readers. So you will start to see some content be transferred over to www.kaythesoloalliance.com. The Solo Alliance will still be here, but this will be all beauty and fashion baby (including the DIYs that I do that relate to glam, decor and beauty). 

Hey, but I didn't forget about our single status because guess what, I am still single baby!  I am creating that independence and happiness all while being single. So you can catch up with our journal entries, life responses, business, love and all around lifestyle on www.kaythesoloalliance.com. 

So I am preparing for a journey, let's ride Solo Alliance!

I Need A Girls Trip - Movie Review


I needed some "me" time and decided to go see Girls Trip, starring Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Regina Hall, and Tiffany Haddish. I must say this movie was really conventionally good. It was very entertaining and as many have said, Tiffany had her breakout role.  I will note that the roles Queen Latifah and Regina Hall played are going to make you feel as if you have seen them in that role before; because you have.  As previously stated, Tiffany did have a breakout role in the movie, but I can't really see much depth put into her role. It was her usual funny self, very outspoken and a joke for days (some probably would compare her to the "Angela" of the Why Did I Get Married Movies). I must remember that Lisa Raye did her breakout role as a stripper, so while I fear Tiffany's type of role will be a request for her, I won't count her out yet for variety.  I did experience, with this movie, similar vibes from previous movies like The Woods, The Brothers, With this Ring, but tons of more laughter. I laughed throughout most of the movie.  The relationship between "Dina" and "Lisa" seemed the most authentic, as it worked the best. However, I appreciate the Set It Off reference in the movie and how each character needed the support from their cast members.

Now, you know we try not to ruin the experience of the movie for others, but there are some things in the movie that definitely resonated with us at The Solo Alliance.  (*pops lips) Let's Chat!




  •  The placating ways of "Stewart" did not sit well, didn't care for it at all.
  • I appreciated all of the support the girls had for each other even when all their chips were down, but when they let each other have it, it was all out there and I did feel like they kind of ganged up on Sasha.
  •  Why is there always one person in these movies with the same type of money problem (Think Like a Man, The Best Man Holiday)?
  • There were events left with too many questions (the plastic greeting at the beginning of the trip with Sasha and Ryan, did they all still reside in the same state, the relationship between Ryan and Julian previously, I need answers!)
  • There was a point where money was definitely a driving force, but it wasn't ever addressed perse (Ryan continued to accept issues whenever money was mentioned, her relationship with Sasha because of her running after money)
  • Why did everybody have a last name but Dina (random I know)



I would love to discuss some of the events that happened, so at this point, I will say possible spoiler alert.




"Single women are the in thing."  While we at The Solo Alliance speak about living a fulfilled life from a single woman point of view, the movie didn't center around single women. It centered around women having fun with their friends.  You got some great music, great drinks and eventually a great room, which is a recipe for a great time.



"Women dishing tips and tricks." We love a good party and women schmoozing. I will say the schmoozing done at the breakfast table, I was not quite ready.  However, women talk is where you can learn some great or terrible tips, but it doesn't hurt to try and see what works for you.


"Your friends' jokes on your celibacy."  Yep.  There are some laughs and jokes that we here at The Solo Alliance have had to endure due to being celibate.  Not saying give your goodies at the first offer, but I must agree that grown women can do grown women things unless you have other intentions for your celibacy. Which by all means, keep that up. However, if you have a set of friends that are in a no-judgement zone then use the above schmoozing session to pop off your grownup activities.




The cast made for a great movie. I would highly recommend going to see the flick with or without friends. Have you already seen Girls Trip? If not, check out the trailer in the link below.
No copyright infringement intended. I do not own these photos.

 Sound off your some of your favorite parts of movie, thoughts on the movie and all things Girls Trip in the comments below.

*corrections have been made to change to Regina Hall



Loyalty



Loyal defined is having or showing complete and constant support for someone or something; therefore loyalty is the state of being loyal. Most people will use the term for their benefit, but when is it being use to benefit someone or something else? Most people will speak of the loyalty they expect but are not sure how much they want or how much they are willing to do in order to return loyalty.

I am a very loyal person, but when does it turn from loyalty to insanity.  Insanity- doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. You know the ones that can depend on you but you can never depend on them. My friend always says, "you can't be everything to everybody."  True statement. It is when you are trying to be everything to everybody that you crash, and when you aren't available, this becomes an issue right?  This is because this isn't your nature with which people are accustomed. When do you find that balance where you are just like "forget it", I only have this amount of cares to give, and I have to chose wisely which I am going to give them. I mean, I can't get those cares back so I need to spend them wisely right.

Let's talk single women loyalty because that is the life we live on this blog. I get that I may not have as many responsibilities as a family of four, but I do have responsibilities. I say this not only for friends, but potentials also.  Check it, so I meet a guy and we established at the beginning that I am grown woman dating. So, if you find me interesting and would like to converse, that is fine, but why expect me to not to do something, you are currently doing.  I know you are dating homeboy, I know your options are still open, but you want my options to come to a halt. Red flag (Ladies, we will talk about those red flags)! I mean obviously you aren't doing enough to expect that kind of loyalty. I just thought it was so random the things that he expected. We are getting to know each other, I get that, but why in the world do you think that you are able to do things that you do not expect of your mate. Examples you ask, sure why not. Let's put a very common topic that is quoted out there

Convo 1
Him: Have you ever dated outside of your race?
Me:  I don't date ethnicities, races, or colors, I date men
Him: Well, you need to stick by your own
Me: Really, you have a biracial child

Convo 2:
Him: You know I work late so you should be willing to change your dating habits to work around my schedule
Me: You know I work long shifts, so you should expect for me to go out of my way during the late hours
Him: Well I am just trying to spend time with you
Me: People make time for what they want to do, what's your days off?
(I know it seems like a feasible convo right now, its not. It gets worse)
Him: Well its random, I made plans on this day (blah, blah, blah) and why don't you just come over and cook for me on a Sunday, so we can chill
Me: You know I work a 10 hour shift on Sundays right? So no to coming to cook for you and no to me "chilling" on a Sunday
Him: You can come over after work

Convo 3 (came from a stint where I wasn't giving in to some stupid request, probably going to his house or something of that nature)
Him: Yo, I am not like the other dudes you may have dated, I am a grown man.
Me: Then why are you expecting me to be like the other females you have dated that allowed you to "play house" with them..

Like, I can go on with this, but why?  We are supposed to be dating, find time or move on. You are requesting loyalty when it isn't earned. We aren't in a relationship. Please use some discernment in this situation sir.  I can't really speak for the next lady, but I will ask, how many single dating women are expected to be loyal because someone else thinks that you have the time to do it?

Maybe, we have someone out there with a different perspective. Sound off below in the comments.

Brunch with Tiffany Webisodes


Episode Four with Sky from Black Ink Crew

Oh gosh, where do I start? So two "unfiltered" people sat down to brunch and there was much "girl talk." Sky and Tiffany talked about their advocacy for plastic surgery, what procedures they had done and their lives in reality TV. There were no bars with this duo and many comments stated that they would watch a Sky and New York show. These two women are very known for their boisterous personalities on TV and one could see how they would definitely be friends, but my thoughts would be who would be the first to get out of pocket. They are two ladies who don't allow too much to be said before they "pop off." I have been keeping up with the Brunch with Tiffany series, and I must say as I watch the episodes of Brunch with Tiffany, she does very well at commentary. While she may ask "intrusive questions", she is also willing to allow access into her privacy as well as allowing the viewer to get a taste of the personalities of her brunch buddies. Many of her brunch buddies personalities are well known, but I can appreciate giving a good show for a web series. After watching all four episodes available, I still reccommend checking out Brunch with Tiffany for some short entertainment.  

Have you already watched any of the webisodes for "Brunch with Tiffany"?  If so, lets chat below, if not, catch an episode on VH1's, Brunch With Tiffany and join the chat.

Brunch With Tiffany Webisodes



Currently VH1 is broadcasting Tiffany "Miss New York" Pollard having brunch with pals, named "Brunch With Tiffany" No copyright infringement intended. There are currently two short episodes and there will be one episode added each month. 

Tiffany Pollard is visiting different restaurants in New York for brunch while conversing with some of her influential pals. According to VH1, "You already know and love Tiffany Pollard from her days as "New York" on VH1's Flavor of Love and I Love New York. Now, get ready to spend more time with her and her famous friends over brunch and cocktails on Brunch With Tiffany. Every month, Tiffany will be gathering gossip at iconic New York City restaurants, and no topic is off limits. You won't want to miss this". 

I have watched both episodes and I am not going to give a full on summary of the show because I really think for the purposes of discussion and because it is actually entertaining, you should watch it. But I will start off our discussion. 

Talk about interesting women convos at brunch. Do you think there is ever too much information revealed between women? I hope you answered no to the aforementioned question, because these webisodes will give you an earful from Tiffany and her pals. While Sheryl Lee Ralph is more demur, Sandy Morgan definitely gives us some hot tea about herself. I like that Tiffany is keeping her personality while meeting with different personalities. I will say the series is very relatable as Tiffany speaks with her pals about things that myself and my friends also chat about at a dining table. I did chuckle and at times full out hollered during the episodes as Tiffany will always give you an over-the-top performance. I must say that it feels odd to keep typing Tiffany instead of how we were all mostly introduced to her- Miss New York, but I digress. She definitely doesn't hold her tongue on the webisodes as she speaks with her gal pals, from vaginal rejuvenation to flying high as a kite. I must say that I can totally see myself sitting at brunch with Tiffany. She brings out personal information from her pals that is quite refreshing because it is absolutely hilarious. There aren't many cons about the webisodes other than, I would appreciate longer episodes as I can only imagine what else is said at their brunch. Overall, it appears to be a good series sure to give laughter and make you wonder just where in the world is Tiffany's filter button. 

Have you already watched any of the webisodes for "Brunch with Tiffany"?  If so, lets chat below, if not, catch an episode on VH1's, Brunch With Tiffany and join the chat.