Why Are You Single (Series)

August 23, 2016 The Solo Alliance 2 Comments

If you read the title exactly as it appears, this question is asked to me and probably many of you that are reading this post too many times to count. This could probably go one of both ways, either we can go into this from the "I can't find anyone good" angle or the "I'm happily single" angle. Well, this is my random thoughts on Tuesday, so I will go from a random angle, and that is the "am I really available" angle.

There are several avenues that one can go to find "love" or a least companionship (for the purpose of this random thought, I am speaking on significant other companionship). We can start with one avenue I have tried, which is online dating. I use this example because I signed up on a dating website to meet people in the area, and lets say it didn't go as expected.

I really think this was my issue and not their issue. Why do I say that? I say this because I was expecting a spark, a gleam, a oomph and after not replying to a lot of messages and thinking about it, I came to a stop with a question. Am I really available?

While some of the requests were absurd, such as I can be your sugar daddy, and calling himself daddy in all of his countless messages to me, and some were reasonable like, can we meet for coffee or dinner? I just felt nothing. At one point, I was chatting with a guy and instead of asking me how my day was going, or what's new going on, he was countless asking for pictures, might I add that I had several pictures online. I know that their is a lot of catfish issues out there, but if you are afraid of getting to know someone because of being catfished, then online dating really isn't for you. Not to mention, that if I was posting catfish pictures, I would also send catfish pictures.I digress.  I expected a spark to form from a reasonable conversation that would make me get out of a very uncomfortable, "I really don't want to meet you, there are too many horror stories, I really am not that into you" zone into a zone that would be "as long as we are in a well lit place, it must be daytime, I am now texting my friends and yes I will take a picture of you as soon as I see you." Nope, that never happened.

So, I contemplated what was going wrong (thinker personality), and then start answering questions like what I rather be doing then meeting someone and trying to get past the first date/meeting fluff. Am I really into finding someone? Was I ready to hit the dating scene through this method? Answering these questions, allowed me to see that I may not be available. It may not be my time to be connected with someone. I find dating to be a good thing and if you find the right one then you will know, but unfortunately, after answering all of my countless questions, I felt like I am looking for prince charming, which is totally unrealistic. As my friend would say, my dating mentality is not in the same generation that we are currently living in. She says this because I would like to be courted. You know, the meet and greet, phone conversations, getting to know each other through silly little messages, finding someone who has many of my shared interests but yet have things they like that I don't, so we don't have to feel that need to be together all the time, but miss each other when we are away from one another. Yes I would like to talk to you, but I don't have to talk to you everyday, and no you can't call me all times of night while we are in the courting stage. Give me a sense of worth please. I am sure there are the issues with being on separate working times, but we know the late night calls I am talking about. No, our first couple of dates will not be "chilling at my or your house." I need a reason to get up, put on my snazzy, jazzy outfits and put on cute makeup rather than a girls' night out.

Let me know down in the comments if I am being unreasonable. Do you have a prince charming vision of love, have you met your prince charming through this vision, and definitely tell me your experiences, if you have any, of online dating?  Thanks for visiting The Solo Alliance. **Smooches**


  1. I can completely agree with you on this whole "Am I really ready to date or get in a relationship" I have only had two relationships and I think I am ready to be single for awhile.

    1. Exactly, Are we really ready, or just doing it because we think we should. Thanks for visiting Robbie :) and <3